I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize
