I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
