That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
