I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
