how do flat chested girls get laid?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
