I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
