Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
