im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
