we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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