Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
