Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think I won the penis lottery.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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