What did we do last night that was yellow?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
