It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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