I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
