Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
