A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
