i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
