Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
