Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
The struggles of a small town man whore
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
