I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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