Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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