i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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