Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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