Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize