It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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