I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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