I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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