why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
