Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
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