So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
