yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
