I accidentally had phone sex last night
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
