Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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