I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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