do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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