She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
