i may or may not be watching the land before time
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
