you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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