Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
