she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
