i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
