Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
