At least make sure they are 18
Why
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
