We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
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