I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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