Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
