i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
