He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
They are going to name an STD after you.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
