Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
