Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
