We're facebook friends in real life
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
