Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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