he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
